He took me outside on a strollwe talked and he said he was sorry about wat he had to tell me. I confronted her and him with the email and they claimed it was a big joke. Heh loves me very much but I dont love him.electronic communication is the best way to find things out. !.Last night we had another fight and I relised that this is never going to change. Feedback? They are the ones that have to hear all the fights.. And when i was talking to him today he told me that she was talking on the phone with her boyfriend and the she started talking about she was horny in front of my husband. The best way to know if you can trust your husband is if he takes himself out of possibly bad situations. to women he knows casually, just as friends I have pages and pages of correspondence through the years with various women, that I think is just inappropriate (lets meet for a day at the beach etc.) Im in the same position, and I dont know what to do. He said I wasnt paying attention to him etc. Lately, hes late Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday and do not call if he is. That he wasnt happy etc. Yesterday he had the nerve to ask me whats wrong because Ive been crazy emotional lately!!!!!! he is saying that he s not interested to hav sex with me within 3 yrs. I does not tell me he loves me anymore even after I tell him. You stayed despite knowing he spent the night with another woman irrelevant of whether he had sex. I feel for you so much. She trusted her gut her intuition and she was right. That is, if I thought he was cheating, he wouldnt bring it up again unless I did. I cannot turn my head to drive, walk, or lay on my side. i am so low over the loss of my best friend and Mother I think I might as well just get splitting up over and done with because he will never change. When he got there he told me not to be blowing his phone up because he couldnt really talk while he was at work. They stole my deceased fathers brand new truck and my car I had to purchase to replace the truck so I have wheels to get around. Everything listed about if a man is a cheater is true about my husband. What should I do about it? His been coming home a couple of hours late, and he works 15 minutes away from our house, his excuse is he needs to hang out with his co workers because he doesnt want them to think like his only there to go to work??? But, Im thoroughly confused as to why you are posting on this site. I feel like if I ask for his password to check his Facebook he will immediately know what I want to look for and delete any evidence if there even is any. What does that tell you? Im not from a divorced family so i dont know what it feels like but I will say that my son is going to have alot of questions for his father when he does find out. It doesnt mean were stupidit just means that were human. And why would he be constantly messaging with someone after he told me he couldnt have his phone on the rig. It sounds like you and your husband have been through so much together, and you havent been happy in your marriage for a long time. Of course he is going to run to you as together you two do not have all the resposibilities of raising a family and day to day life. Had nothing to do with the fact that he spent all day Sunday with his ex wife and kids? I would especially like him to talk about skype. My fiancee is cheating me with his so called ex wife. It does appear there is a Momentum to this place and indeed a Mother Nature or Deity directed current, but I have to humbly admit I dont seem capable of really understanding it too much with my terrestrial based mind. Her pictures flash through my mind and it still hurts so so much. He doesnt run away when I bring things up but I can tell he doesnt really want to talk about it either yet he listens and doesnt get crazed. There are TONS of good men. Required fields are marked *. But I still have flashback days when I crawl into the bathtub and cry, and I continue to monitor what shes up to on Facebook, though I know its self-destructive. I feel tormented by this. Which is why you should be honest, letting your husband know that you want to take your time to get to know each other and even date again. A good open point of view helps to evaluate the thoughts and feelings of uncertainty in our own minds as women. I feel like if u separate temporarily you guys may rediscover why you fell in love and get back to a healthy, loving, trusting, and respectful relationship. He has continued to reject me physically, and still to this day defends her when her name comes up I know that I am not wrong, I know that even IF( big IF) he never slept with her, he had an intense emotional relationship with her, that superceeded ours by far, and that alone has ruined our relationship and our marriage, and I cannot let go of the it, I need to know the truth, and why! My husband changed so much he started lying about drug use . What is one thing you can do today to start creating that life? Please help me. But would i know i was sleeping the whole time this happened and who knows what happened or for how long he was gone for. She wants to meet me but i dont know if i want to meet her. My insecurities spill over into our relationship because my ex cheated on me and I am afraid every other guy I am involved with will cheat on me because of it. Please try to remember that in your heart you know what is right, and people who do bad things (like your father) will try to confuse you. I think that the reason he will not admit the affair is because he would never want me to think less of him and because he never thought there would be a breech in their secrecy. I also want to add that he does talk about a future with me. Yes, we had hard times, but we were strong enough to get to this point where we get married. And no amount of talking and making excuses will cover up the fact that we chose to stay with a spouse that cant be trusted. I prayed that God would reveal it to me so plainly that I couldnt ignore or feel crazy. dont go looking for an excuse, end it right then and there. He came out and told me he apologized said it was only one time and he felt so bad afterwards he didnt know what to do. He would only hug if he wanted sex. I m so tired with taking this all in but I have no other choice except bearing it . Tonight I literally felt sick to my stomach because he wont even sit by me or look me in the eye. Hes a piece of garbage.we get it. Needless to say, I felt pretty threatened when we first got together. Space Is Limited! Both men and women are vulnerable to temptation and mistakesand thats where trust comes in. I did not waste my time to put effort into getting hard facts. 12? He had moved out at one point for a long time staying with Friends. If he is cheating on you before there is even anything built, its obvious he isnt looking to settle down and be with one person. Even worse is that the authorities didnt believe you; instead they believed your lying husband. I am terribly sorry to say ladies, men do not like being spied upon either. There was a reason it happened, and it is very important to address that reason. End of discussion. Are you ignoring red flags? His actions tell you everything you need to know about exactly how sorry he is when confronted about his cheating, he KEPT CHEATING. He was able in therapy to admit to an attraction but to say its mostly a mentor relationship. He is using you any way he can. Hi Samantha, Im really sorry to hear what you have gone through. The history has probably been cleared again. By 9:00 pm he still wasnt home, so I called him. And, if he didnt have a sexual relationship, you feel cheated that your best friend, your husband, your groom would even dare spend time with another woman while you slept in your hotel room especially on your honeymoon. I read his text message with a lady he introduce to me as a long time freind not knowing they dated each other before and i saw rge text message seeing them talking of sex, when i confronted my husband he told me he will never cheat on me and it was the past there were talking aout. The pictures on her profile were all bikini pictures. What did you do are you still involved? The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time, and listen to your gut instincts. Our daughters age. She even went as far as confirming it. to all the women on here feeling confused, hurt, betrayed, alone, know I LOVE YOU and understand. Im sure you must feel horribly confused! Well while I was going through our cell phone records tonight I saw that from the weekend he got up there he has been messaging back and forth over 100 time in two weeks with one particular number. You express yourself quite well. I never knew he was a liar until after I married him. Your subconscious is picking up on signs that your conscious mind cant take in. 1. This is excellent growth you and he and moving forward in your relationship. Yesterday I wrote him a letter. She paused and gave him the phone and he was laughing talkin about he was just playing with me. I have confronted him several times in the past and he always says that Im full of it and he would never cheat on me. Youll find it helpful and enlightening to read the comments about cheating below. I have cheated as well and Im more than willing to disclose my infidelities while we were together. So i acted as if i was her. And if hurting him means going through his wife I will.and I wanted to put him and every man like him in his placeI wish you much luck with your journey. I have felt like my husband has been cheating for year. And I saw this girls name as my husbands guest. Because I trusted him. Such BS. It seems to me the unpaid labour of a year was an affair. Ive been in therapy a number of times for various issues. He told me he knew it was wrong, but wasnt thinking. When I was cheated on I also wanted to know all the details. He then told me he and a much younger friend met a couple of girls at a bar and my husband was just being the wingman for his friend. He is a Godly man etc. With someone . If i ask him he pretends he hates her so much coz of what she did to him in the past. I wanna break this relation but i am thinking about the kid. Biology makes men want to have as many kids as possible, so they cheat withas many female partners as possible. Hes a car salesman and said that he was with the woman to reserve the room with his credit card because a credit card was required. He thought I wouldnt say anything. He said hes faithful to me. Youre picking up on signals and signs, and your gut instincts arent wrong. He was the perfect husband and dad, caring, helped around the house, gave me surprises every know and then, that is why I never suspected it, and now I am totally confused and do not know if i should give him an opportunity thinking he will never do it again. I have confronted him and he still denies anything is going on. you have never trusted me is what I hear now. Ever since I was pregnant with my first child, he has called me horrible names like whore and slut. Once while he was gone I didnt hear from him for 3 days. It brought back so much pain that I was trying to recover from. Amen. I finally got ahold of him at 4:00 a.m. and he says that his phone died. With just a few of your husbands basic details to get started, this tool can produce a wealth of information about his recent communications. If you want to know if your husband is lying about cheating. Am I over reacting? I get it. I was devastated. I dont think its bad if a guy gives you negative comments. I felt alone almost all the time. Then next day he ask if i was over it and I said no not till i get to the bottom of it and he said If you dont trust the truth from me then I really dont know what to tell you so you belive me. Dear reader, Please help me am confused and i dont know what to do or where to go, i bought my husband a ticket to go to Tunisia on 17juin 2014 when he arrived the next day he phoned me from that country and he i have not heard from him till 27 juin, i tried to phone him without success he bought a ticket on 18 juin next day and flew to morroco, i had that thing say to me that he is cheating because this is not the first time i confronted him but he denies all the times i found numerous time phone numbers that he was calling morocco and i tried that number and that was a women who replied to me and saying his name, when he came back home he hide his passport i asked him where he was he told me that he was in tunisia but he was not i search for hi passport and found it when i confronted him he just ripped the pages of the passport and he gave me the passport to check i can see there is missing pages in the passport he walked away he kept silent till now please help me i dont know what to do. What ever he liked that whore. He even told me that he thought she was actually pregnant unless I wouldnt have known. I know women can be fragile and look to attach to anyone showing attention when their spouse is not doing the job. They get bored and feel mistreated or unappreciated and unfulfilled. Its natural for you to want to scream and break things, after all, this is one of the worst breaches of trust that can ever happen to you. Im sure it 20 years old you are still attractive and can easily and will easily find somebody who is better. lets say, that for what ever reason, he had sex with someone else. I couldnt leave them and he changed his story the next day. Its all Ive got left. We have been married for 16 years. he keeps saying that my assumption of him having an affair is what has ruined us, but I cannot fathom who in their right mind would work for a year earning nothing, getting nothing for it at all, if there wasnt something else in it for him? Hes only told me he loves me twice in the entire year and it was more at the 3 month mark, not so much anytime in the past few months. We dont have the money for counseling and Im afraid he will think its nuts that I want counseling. Of course, he always says that hes with his male friend who is 37 years old. His reasoning for it was he was heart broken coz his wife cheated on him & was hurt which is what led to the affair. im totally confused . I just want him to be honest. she strips and is not afraid to pleasure any man married or not in any way. So he hasnt been here in 2 weeks Ive asked him where he is getting his sexual satisification cuz hes a very sexual man he told me hes been masterbating well after 16 days he came over I found in his backpack condoms about 8 which we dont use since Im pregnant so I wonder is he cheating on me. You must tell someone. He always has been a sweet man. The first few years we were together, he usually leaves his phone lying around the house. Having an affair is just not adultery, it includes lying, deception and breaks a vow and trust between the couple. Tip #1 Casually Discuss The Topic. Have strength, have pride in yourself and ditch his ass. Love = Woman. His addiction and i dont know how to help him. When I asked about the women he was searching for on Facebook, he said they are possibly a threat. We had seperated in September 2015 until November 2015. He states that he talks to some of them 4+ times a day, sometimes up to an hour. I dont know what you should do about your marriage, but I believe we all need to connect with God in order to make the best choices in our lives. By the way i know already that my husband is lying because i track him in his phone but i cant say nothing unless i see in my eyes, i learned my lesson. He swore it was just an emotional affair for 4 more months. Act like you are worth more than how he treats you. Maybe its not the cheating or the lying thats the issue. Confrontation has two goals - the truth itself and . Although sex has never been a problem between us. LadiesTRUST YOUR GUT! I was in the same situation with my wife many years ago. Then, we broke it off for about 9 mnths, for other reasons, and in the meantime, she moved to where we live because this is where she is originally from and she and her husband divorced. Narcissists won't usually admit to cheating on their partner. "I excruciatingly suffered." Witch makes me think if hes having a affair that its not physical but emotional. My Husband went out to a party of his ex girlfriend. I want so much to believe me but that little voice tells me hes not being faithful to me. She also said they met up at a parking lot where a lot of people go to hang out and drink after work at around 2 or 3 am when they get off work. In a survey of 1,535 adults, a full 91 percent considered infidelity to be morally. We had almost no physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc) 4. Especially after I found out that I was pregnant with our 2nd son. Its often helpful to write down your fears and concerns or talk them through with someone you trust and respect. With her Facebook page full of selfies with her and other men. after a few times she didnt whant to do this anymore. I feel his distance from me. I come from a difference race. 2. This w**** went back in our marriage to 15 years ago, he denied it then and is trying to deny it now. He is learning about emotional affairs, and you are learning how to recognize and talk about the signs a husband is cheating. He PREYS on vulnerable woman like myself. Often, their refusal to just show some truthfulness and integrity is what actually makes their situation worse - not their silence. I found strange underware but we all joked it off. He wouldnt talk to me for 10 days. Men with this should NOT get married. Unless there is more definitive behavior, I wouldnt necessarily think that is the case. He tells me he cant keep doing these daily talks because he has told me everything and doing so will hurt our relationship further. I am going thru the same issues. And, dont rely on the internet or online advice blogs! I feel like I have gone insane. After questioning him more about who friended who on Facebook, his answers changed. This guy decided that I will not keep his son because he needs immigration status to stay. Hes sorry he lied. I know change can be scary but sometimes we have to walk through that fear to get something good on the other side. He gave me his pass code to his phone and email password and he never keeps his phone attached to him when he sleeps or is in the house and he leaves it laying around me.but could this be my paranoia? Now this is an ex he told me was a big mistake, shes this shes that bla bla bla. Of course it is not your fault. And yes, it turns out, all the other things were stress at work, including being out at a very tense meeting that ran late. It sounds totally one sided and he sounds like hes treating you like crap. All of this happened 2 years ago after we had our baby. If their belly button faces the door or exit, its because subconsciously they want to leave or escape. allison sorry hun . This man has done nothing but bring me down in the 6 1/2 years weve been together. If you think i should stay and try to make this work let me know.. I dont deserve to be treated this way. take care i hope i give you the right advice please dont stop communicating wiht me. Things were going okay, until we started bowling and my husband got a strike and they ended up giving each other a high five. So I sat in my vehicle for about 10 more minutes and then I called him. Hi, I am at a loss for words. I go in and check his email, I found an itinerary for a hotel room in our city. Then other weeks, its as if he cant have enough sex with me. I have no desire in starting over in a new relationship. I believe that he has tried to hook up with this girl again. Yes, you will struggle financially and your heart will be broken because you have to let go of someone you love. Maybe certain questions ? My oldest is a teenager 11 and 6. We havent kissed in a very long time, not even within the 1-3 times per month we are intimate. The affair girl was keeping a close eye on him. Yep men cheat no matter what. He is gas lighting you . The counselor suggested he write her a letter telling her she was a big mistake, that he woukd not protect her ever, and that she was never to contact him again. But Im really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son! I am in a relationship with this guy for 7 years he recently start cheating on me. Im wanting to tell her, he KNOWS Im NOT afraid of speaking up, taking full responsibility & spilling the beans! Constantly trying to make up for his mistakes and telling me he loves me everyday and that hasnt changed but a week ago I seen some disturbing texts between him and his fast friend concerning a females number and her calling my husband that Sunday night on his cell.we had made plans to spend that Sunday together but he never came home from work that morning we he finally called he said he was taking a Co worker to a pet store in another town and then to a second town anyway he never comes home all night.next day when I confront him he blows up and we argue for two days and hes constantly been hanging out at night and I just dont know which way to go anymore my heart is in many pieces I try to trust but my heart cant my stomach turns at the thought I just cant go through the past again I need serious help I have no strength left. There are also men that get continuously accused of cheating when they arent and that wife badgers him, controls him, goes through his phone and smothers him that guess what Honey you pushed him into another womans arms and now he looks like the bad guy. He excepted. a few yrs ago she move in with us and right after they were a alillte bit to close . In the fallout from the first lie, I removed him from my Facebook relationship status. There is a lot more but I want to get to my question. Hes made it out like Im the one crazy. The look on both their faces was priceless and he chased me down when I walked out. Had sex with 2 of my friends before and after we got married. Most women, I think, would feel that way, too. He went to have his testosterone checked and it was normal. During these 2 years we were still fooling around. Or get a divorce. If you give her mixed signals and no answers then you have left her playing a guessing game how authentic you are, women are used to lip service and can get it anywhere, we want to know your intentions and your love and for it to not waiver so we can feel safe and secure to completely open up all our doors. All different types of things. So much anger filled me right away. On the streets. Im 18yrs old and Im having an affair with a guy whos 37 he always accuse me of cheating becuz Im sexy everyone wants me sometimes I get so fed up of it he constantly keep pushing and accusing me until I found out hes acting different when I ask him if hes cheating on me becuz my sister saw him with a nxt woman. And that is a bad relationship. The advice i wil give to you guys stay focus and think deep in your heart what you want if you want to suffer for the rest of your live or you want trust, bright future ahead. I went through his phone and found a telephone number over and over again. What do i do? He used to complain I clean too much as well. My kids were brought up in that messed up house, where they didnt see a strong woman, their mother, me because I didnt know how to say Im sooo unhappy, I want you to leave & never come back.no more explanations!! Huge fight on Christmas Eve, and I stupidly told him to leave. AMEN. Doesnt offer a ride to a nearby urgent care to have it checked out. My ex husband was cheating on me and lying about it. Why arent you guys married, after more than four years together? We didnt exchange names or anything but he had no ring and seemed young around my age, young 20s. Im constantly searching for clues. You sound like me I went and am going through this. I just felt he was having an affair because the way he acted towards me subtly changed. We both live in the same building. Exactly how sorry he is saying that he thought she was right on I also want to.. To an hour really sorry to say ladies, men do not if. 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